Epic Guide

I have seen a lot of bad movies in my time; I have been tricked by plenty of previews. Some of the bad movies I have seen include Battlefield Earth, Mission to Mars and Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse. However, this weekend I witnessed the most painful movie experience yet. The New World seemed like it would be good, it stared Colin Farrell and Christian Bale and was about Jamestown, the first English colony in the Americas. I expected it to make white people look dirty and ill-willed toward nature, I got that part right. What I didn’t expect was there being more lame voiceovers than character dialogue. Now, being a fan of history, I thought this movie wouldn’t be half-bad; I was terribly wrong. The best way to describe The New World is to compare it to watching a 2 hour 13 minute cologne commercial. It was like a bad art film, that you wanted to watch not for the entertainment but for the challenge. I feel that I should have gotten a t-shirt afterwards for my accomplishment.