Epic Guide|Mostly Harmless

Michelle Kwan has dropped out of the Olympics due to a groin injury.  Now while many people will say that it was an admirable thing to do because it allowed Emily Hughes to get an invite.  Now while I don’t really watch ice skating ever, I must say one thing.  If ice skating is a sport, then where is the “don’t give up mentality present in all other sports?”  By dropping out Michelle Kwan has said two things, ice skating is for pansies and America has quitters in its midst. Michelle Kwan should have a chat with Donovan McNabb.

Winter Olympics should be called something else. Like “world competition of recreational snow-activities”. Olympics are boring in general, but winter olympics are especially boring because everything except for Hockey is something I might do while visiting the mountains. Sledding, skiing, skating…these are more recreational than they are sport. Then you get even more ridiculous “sports” like curling. I say next winter olympics we just flash a big middle finger to the rest of the world and not show up. And how sad is it that skating with celebrities is more entertaining than watching olympic skating? In real sports like football and baseball it’s more entertaining to watch professionals than has-been celebrities like Dave Coulier and . Think about it.

This is great, our second Cowboy in Command, Vice President Dick Cheney, shoots a man while hunting. I think that the administration is doing the right thing by shooting every lawyer they see. This world should have fewer lawyers. The President George Bush has said on a number of occasions that we needed to “stop the trial lawyers”, I guess now they consider them terrorists.

Go get’m Dick!!

Susan Sarandon , GIVE ME A BREAK!!!  You win the Freak O’ the Week Award! I can not believe those Italians let that idiot help walk the Olympic flag into the stadium. Her values in no way merge with the Olympics; competition, athletics, honesty, or good will. Just look at how angry she and her boy friend are at their own country, America.

I wrote in a previous post about Dateline’s Predators, and said I get back to it, so here’s some more interesting safety information for kids.

I was playing a little game with my son tonight called Safetyville, I don’t know where we got it, but it asks questions like, “what do you do when you lost?”, and other good questions. It turns out the game is an advertisement for a kids I.D service, which is a neat idea, so check it out http://www.kidzidz.com/.
Back to the game, I do have to knock the writers of Safteyville a bit. The first two cards in the stack had ridiculous questions that no father would ever tell his 3 yr. old son, but I will tell you. The point is, this is so rare, I will never worry about it happening. The questions are so politically charged (special interest groups), it’s pathetic.

Question: A friend of yours confides that he would love to come to school and shoot all of the students that have taunted or rejected him. You should tell ______ as soon as possible. Answer: a trusted adult

Question: Your school is under siege by one or more student shooters and you are stuck inside your classroom. Keep the lights out, door locked and make sure everyone hides out of view of _________. Answer: all doors and windows.

Well, in old news (2003), but hitting the news today, a French group, Reporters Without Boarders decided to tell on an American group, Yahoo. Apperently, Yahoo gave the Chinese government information on a man who broke the law.

“It said it had discovered that Yahoo! customer and cyberdissident Li Zhi had been given his eight-year prison sentence in December 2003 based on electronic records provided by Yahoo.” RWB

There’s two things I’d like to point out to the French.

First, China, whether people like it our not, is a country with its own laws. Yahoo, who is doing business in China, complyed and followed the Chinese laws. What is wrong with that? I don’t think France likes any other contries laws: see America, Iraq, Vietnam, England, ect. All France ever does is critize other countrys, they only talk, they never DO ANYTHING. Examples: Iraq, Vietnam, WWI, WWII and even being stupid enough to reprint the “Muhammad Cartoons“, while just getting over weeks of riots in France.

Second, something the French know nothing about, “Fighting the Good Fight.” Don’t those idiots know that it take a few dissidents, like Li Zhi, to break the back of Communism? Yahoo, just like Google, is taking on China, and is part of the solution, not the problem. Information, meaning the internet, will be the sword that will slay the dragon. Reporters Without Boarders would rather point out a law abiding company like Yahoo as a “Big Meanie”, rather than point out the heroic actions of a man leading the “Charge to Freedom.” Sounds like the remarks from a county that can’t fight its own wars and thinks capitalism is greed. I have to tell France, that there will be more Li Zhi’s going to jail, there be more fighting, and some day soon, Red China will not have a problem with the internet, they will fall. Atleast, the French will write about it, that’s all Li Zhi wanted anyway.

Philip Seymor Hoffman is one of the most talented actors working today. He really has a wide range of capabilities considering the many different characters he’s played. In Capote, he really showed his ability to showcase a character’s depth and changes. Not only is he talented concerning the technical aspects, but he has a screen presence that steals whatever scene he’s in. Even in supportive roles like in The Big Lebowski, and Magnolia he really adds a lot to whatever scene he’s in. Of the other movies nominated for multiple Academy Awards, I’ve only seen Crash, but as far as I’m concerned, Capote is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time. And it was so refreshing to have a movie who’s main character is gay and have that NOT be the focus of the movie. Usually the struggles of being gay in America or wherever take over the film and it becomes a preachy movie about how to treat people. 5 stars, two thumbs up, whatever, Capote is awesome.

The Steelers won the big game. Just as I said so in my first post. It may have been the Steelers Baby that help jinx the Seahawks, because as usual they could not win the big game. I think the Steelers defense played well, but there offense was terrible. Big Ben played poorly, helped only by one desperation throw to Ward. Otherwise Seattle moved the ball better and had more chances. Lets point out that the Seahawks missed two field goals, were pathetic in both 2:00 minute drives they had, and threw a key interception when the game was still close. Had the Hawks not made a 75 yard interception, the game wouldn’t have even been close on the scoreboard. Even with the Seahawks out playing the Steelers. I wouldn’t say that the game was super-sucky like Jeremy, but it wasn’t the best game ever.

In a response to the majority of the world refusing to acknowledge a Hamas run Palestine, Hamas has refused to recognize Israel. The US is refusing to send aid money to Palestine unless it disarms its militant wing and changes its platform from the “death of Israel” to something more pleasant. Israel is sending its last care package of $54 million, which is a literal lifeline to the Palistine government. Under these circumstances, I can see two outcomes. One, Hamas will break under the lack of funds and give in to the demands of the world. Or two, Hamas will break under the lack of funds and attack the rest of the world with suicide bombers because they feel “oppressed”. If the second happens, Israel will probably go to war and eliminate Hamas. However, of the two choices, I would put my money on the first one. Sure Hamas may still hate Israel, but you can’t bite the hand that feeds you (I once had a dog that bit me when I fed it, the keyword is had). My bet is that Hamas will sell out in an attempt to keep power.

The super bowl was horrible. Both teams played really poorly. Roethlisberger and Hasselbeck were throwing ducks all game. Except for one 75 yard run (which was mostly a lucky call and botched play by the strong safety), none of the running backs were even worth mentioning. The Steelers defensive line didn’t create any pressure on Hasselbeck who despite having all day to find a receiver wasn’t hitting his targets. The refs were just as bad, not only on the controversial calls (Roethlisberger’s Touchdown, and Darrell Jackson’s Touchdown), but also on their holding penalties. Not only did the game suck, but the stones are one of my favorite bands, and that half time show was really bad. The sound was all messed up and they only got in 3 songs, which was sad, because I’d rather have watched a stones concert than the football game that they interrupted. And when did super bowl commercials become SO annoying? I used to like the commercials. This years were really bad - especially all the “wardrobe malfunction” puns.

      “Three rabbits sit on a log, one goes off to hang himself….buy a bike”

                                                                                  - Lewis Black

This years super bowl was as painful as the rose parade, which I haven’t seen in over a decade. I’m sorry I wasted 4 hours of my life watching it, and 5 minutes writing this blog about it.