Epic Guide|Mostly Harmless

This blog will probably get me into trouble, I feel as if I am crossing the line while I write it, but I must put my theory out there to be heard. Jill Carroll, a freelance reporter for the Christian Science Monitor, was kidnapped on January 7th and has since made three videos calling for the release of all women prisonors held in Iraq. Each video release has also set a deadline to release the women prisonors before they kill Carroll. Of course, the two first deadlines have passed. That brings me to my hopeful theory: The terrorists are just bluffing and Carroll will eventually be released. I really hope that is the case. However, I also have a less flattering theory: I think she might be faking it. There are a few things that stirred this questioning. She works for the Christian Science Monitor, a pacifist news magazine. Beyond that, I question the whole situation: Why are these terrorists, who capture hostages and only negotiate for the release of the hostage if their country withdraws from Iraq, suddenly asking for the release of women? Why have these terrorists been so obviously bad at bluffing? Why have we never heard of this specific terrorist group, the “Brigades of Vengeance,” until this capture? Why has Carroll been wearing different clothes in every video, and appearing in good health? Why are these clothes making her resemble the the anti-American Al Jazeera reporters? Things are just not adding up. I hope I’m wrong but this whole terrorist situation just seems so fake and out of the ordinary. But in all honesty, I really hope the terrorists are just bluffing and will let her go.

Alright, this video is freaking cool. It is a lawn mower that not only mows the lawn by itself, it flies too. The picture definatly looks like a hoax, but there is a video to accompany it. There isn’t too much to say about it but the fact that it is freaking awsome. I’m gonna order one on ebay. Here is the video.

I didn’t feel like writing today, so I got a quick point, that you should all look at.  Liberal and laziness both start with an “L”.  Coincidence?  Just think about it.

P.S. Lameo, also starts with an “L”.  Think about it.  Coincidence?

Lots of people hate corporations in this day and age. Corporations are associated with money-loving, heart-lacking, white man run organizations of evil. I suspect that these beliefs were some how created by hippies. Here is what I think: Corporations are awesome; way freaking awesome. There is a disclaimer, corporations are heartless. That is because they are run by thousands of shareholders, not by one man. The sole purpose of a corporation is to make a profit, that is it, there is no emotional side of a corporation; every decision is made with profit in mind. So to say that a corporation is evil, is the same as saying your computer is evil because it lacks emotional computation.
So, why are corporations and big businesses awsome? Corporations are good because they are financial juggernauts. Their output is at such a high level that they not only make goods more available, they make goods more affordable. For example, you can buy a motorcycle from a large output, factory business like Harley-Davidson for approx. $16,000. Or you could buy a motorcycle from a relatively small output, handmade buisness like Orange County Choppers for approx. $60,000. The reason is because OCC builds bikes individually, where as Harley-Davidson uses an assembly line. With that in mind do you think you could afford a car? I know I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to. You can thanks corporations and big businesses for cars. In fact, you can thank corporations for plenty of things that would have been unaffordable if not nonexistent. Thank coporations for computers, cell-phones, airline travel, long-distance communication , modern medicine, television, videogames, electricity, the Internet itself would not have been possible, cheap clothing, refrigerators, electronics and many more products and services. Do some corporations break the law? Yes, breaking the law for personaly benifit is evil and should be punished accordingly. Should all corporations be thrown into the same groups as the ones that break the law? I think no, but you can stereotype if you want. However, Corporations have produced multitudes of products that people enjoy, so I thank corporations for that much, you should do the same.

Saddam Hussein has been controlling his trial in an unfortunate way. Today, Hussein proclaimed that he was starting a hunger strike because of his captors’ treatment. Hussein also has interrupted the judge on many occasions; causing the court to enter disorder. This is what I don’t get. This disobedience is intended to rile up the Iraqis against the authenticity of the trial. Why the hell is this allowed? Hussein is notorious for his torture and murderous acts. By complaining about how he is being tortured should not encourage support for Saddam, it should cause the Iraqis to hate him more for denying them trials in the first place. This is what should happen, they should not force Saddam to be present at all, if he wants to defend himself, he should be there by his own will. If he continues to create chaos in court, he should be muzzled. This trial should be carried out, and the Iraqi government should not pander to Hussein in any way.

I’ve been absent for a week, so prepare for a huge post. Personally, I don’t own any fur. I might have some leather shoes or belts. But my lack of animal skin does not mean I do not support it. On Sunday there was another animal protest In Los Angeles. Now while I am by no means supportive of animal cruelty, I cannot stress enough that animals do not have any right what-so-ever.

The headline of the protest was “Please join our protest against the fur trade in China where they are skinning alive Two Million dogs and cats for their fur and 37 million other wild animals.” Let’s look at this statement carefully. First off, they are bashing poor China whose fur industry makes 2.5 billion dollars according to the animal lovers’ statement. I’m not a China activist in the slightest, but China has a lot of really poor people. If they have a 2.5 billion dollar industry, I say fantastic; that means less poor people in the world. However, animal activists do not care about good things for humans. The second part of the statement says that the animals are “skinned alive.” Tell me, what kind of retard skins an animal alive? This statement honestly has got to be one of the biggest pieces of fabricated dog poop that I have ever seen. Why would you skin an animal alive? Animals that are alive can bite you, they can claw you, they are fidgety. Do skinners like a challenge or something? I guarantee that they are killed before they are skinned. The third piece of this statement is the use of the terms “dogs and cats” to stir up emotion. Dogs and cats have an important place in Americans’ hearts. That is the reason these activists used it. However, I eat cows, I’m sure most of you reading this also eat cows. Hindus think cows are gods. In China, dogs and cats are viewed as friendly food (food that was once your friend). Just because you like dogs and cats doesn’t mean that the Chinese have to.

Now, why don’t animals have rights? Because rights are granted by peoples. Every right you have is protected by the government. Unfortunately, animals do not have governments, so they have no way of upholding their rights (one of the perks of being a superior being). Are we responsible for animals? No; if you disagree, just tell me why we should be responsible for animals, I will destroy your arguement. Animals are self sufficient entities. You are only responsible for dependent entities, enough said. Furthermore, if you do not believe we are superior beings, than that means we have even right to wear their skin and eat their innards. If we are equals, and there is truly some animals right crap, then there is a huge problem. Do you know what is worse than wearing skin? Eating it. Predators not only eat the animals’ innards but they also eat the skin. They even eat baby animals. If we are equal, we need to stop lions from eating gazelles, wolves from eating moose, killer whales from eating seals. Guess what other animals’ rights are violated by other animals… Ants herd aphids in the same way that we herd cattle. Basically, the ants own the aphids like slaves, and that technically violates the aphids rights to freedom.

If that isn’t enough proof that animals do not deserve rights, consider this: Why does the metazoa have more rights than the Embryophyta or the Fungi? We are all forms of life, what deems one life form superior than the other? Why can we eat, wear and kill plant life but not animal life? Personally I know; It’s the same reason humans can eat, wear and kill animals. Here is a link to a site I found which contains animal-wacko quotes: it’s furs.com. To end this epic blog I want to quote myself with a saying that I have been using for many a year: “I wouldn’t eat the little bastards if they didn’t taste so damn good,” I put that on a t-shirt.

Michelle Kwan has dropped out of the Olympics due to a groin injury.  Now while many people will say that it was an admirable thing to do because it allowed Emily Hughes to get an invite.  Now while I don’t really watch ice skating ever, I must say one thing.  If ice skating is a sport, then where is the “don’t give up mentality present in all other sports?”  By dropping out Michelle Kwan has said two things, ice skating is for pansies and America has quitters in its midst. Michelle Kwan should have a chat with Donovan McNabb.

In a response to the majority of the world refusing to acknowledge a Hamas run Palestine, Hamas has refused to recognize Israel. The US is refusing to send aid money to Palestine unless it disarms its militant wing and changes its platform from the “death of Israel” to something more pleasant. Israel is sending its last care package of $54 million, which is a literal lifeline to the Palistine government. Under these circumstances, I can see two outcomes. One, Hamas will break under the lack of funds and give in to the demands of the world. Or two, Hamas will break under the lack of funds and attack the rest of the world with suicide bombers because they feel “oppressed”. If the second happens, Israel will probably go to war and eliminate Hamas. However, of the two choices, I would put my money on the first one. Sure Hamas may still hate Israel, but you can’t bite the hand that feeds you (I once had a dog that bit me when I fed it, the keyword is had). My bet is that Hamas will sell out in an attempt to keep power.

Ever wonder when we were gonna have Mechwarriors? Well I personally never cared, but some guys are trying to make “Mechas” a reality. I came across this while trying to find this week’s freak. It is an 18-foot tall mech warrior being built by some dude in Alaska. His web site is neogentronyx.com. Now, at first I was reminded of the forklift in the movie Aliens, but then I thought, “Doesn’t Japan love making Robots?” So I searched for more Mech Warriors and found even sweeter ones than this.

Toyota, the masterminds behind the Camry, have turned their skills toward the robotics world. First I found a walking chair, that was cool but then I dug deeper. They created some freaking sweat wheel chair called the i-Unit, along with a walking mech called the i-foot.

Beyond Toyota, other institutions have been working hard at mechanized exoskeletons. UC Berkeley has created “Bleex,” an exoskeleton that helps you carry heavy backpacks. The University of Tsukuba has created a device called “HAL” intended to help people to walk if they suffer from paralysis or something. HAL also gives the wearer “super human strength,” which is nice.

However, of all the mechs I found online, the coolest was definitely the “Land Walker” made by sakakibara-kikai; another company in Japan. The Land Walker is huge, can walk, and has guns. There is even a video showing the guy shooting the guns at a space invader. This thing may not be able to take on a tank yet, but America clearly needs to start making mech warriors for world war III, cause I don’t want the USA being the nation with the lamest weapons in that war.

The State of the Union address was last night and while it covered many points that I would love to comment on, onething stood out.  Iran.  Bush said, ”We cannot afford to have Iran with a nuclear weapon.”  Guess what, that is an understatement.  Lets think about this.  Iran claims they want nuclear capabilities in order to produce energy through nuclear power plants.  Now while it would be nice for Iran to have power, you must aks yourself, “why do they need nuclear power?”  Think about it, Iran has a very large quantity of oil.  Furthermore, I don’t recall Iran ever giving a crap about the environment.  So why don’t they convert their oil into electric power?

I am reminded of North Korea, the other remaining member of the “Axis of Evil“.  Fun loving Bill Clinton thought it would be a great idea to give North Korea nuclear power plants.  Can you guess what Commie Korea did with their nuclear capabilities?  They made nuclear missiles and proceeded to threaten us with them.

So What do you think Iran will do with nuclear capabilities?  I’m pretty sure they can’t make missiles, but they do know a thing or two about making bombs.  Now people may say ask: “what right does America have to deny nuclear weapons to other nations when America was the only nation to actually use a nuclear weapon against another nation?”  Well, that would take another blog in itself to explain, but I can offer you one reason why Iran shouldn’t have nuclear weapons:  I don’t trust them; they hate us, they are an unstable government and they are in the anti-American terrorist hot bed of the world.