Epic Guide|Mostly Harmless

I thought this was a nice photo, what a pathetic person, ruling a country then hiding in a hole, he’s crazy.

Pastime is defined as, “An activity that occupies one’s spare time pleasantly.”  I think pleasantly is a nice word.  Pleasant is what a grandma is.  Pleasant is when you take a nap on a Sunday afternoon.

I think drinking a cold beer with friends is a nice pastime, it occupies free time, and it can be quite pleasant, especially if you’re not routing for the Bills or Clippers.

So it begs the question, what makes baseball a pastime, more importantly, America’s pastime?

Baseball can be considered is an activity, sometimes the players run, not too much to break a sweat. They definitely spit and scratch themselves, that’s a decent activity.  Baseball is only done in your spare time, not even real players would play baseball if it wasn’t during their spare time.  Watching baseball can be pleasant, especially on a nice evening with a beer.  I don’t think the players think its to pleasant, especially with drunk fans yelling at you, critiquing your play, telling you your lazy, telling you that you should have a * next to your name.

With what I can think of baseball, it’s a nice pastime, but what I can’t connect is the “America’s” part.  I think calling something “America’s” means that it’s the best, the greatest, the toughest, have the most heart, and provide some action.  Baseball really isn’t any of that.  Baseball is simple, fairly easy to play, and contains about 5% heart and 5% action.

That brings me to my next question, if baseball is easy, played by highly paid “designer” athletes, why the $#%@!!!! did my fantasy team go 1 for 38 tonight?  I mean, that’s more than a perfect game for the other team.  That is an infinitesimal .026 batting average.  That’s so small, I think a sperm is larger.  I have two #$%&@ complete games against me.  I’m losing 16 to 1, to a guy that’s batting .143!!!!!

Why oh why do normal sports fans like myself put up with fantasy baseball?  There isn’t anything you can really do in fantasy baseball to change the outcome.  Anything can happen, the odds prove it, there is no strategy, no thought, and absolutely no reason to give yourself a heart attack over. Baseball is alright, but fantasy baseball sucks.

When asked, “joining our league?” I thought, “I waste too much time watching my scores, and I don’t even win.” But my friend said, “we’ve got to beat my brother“, so that sealed the deal, I was in!  So now I think, this is just like the time I retired from bowling, because it’s a dumb game and definitely not a sport.  So I’ve had all I can take, I’m retiring!!!! I sticking to just the gridiron, America’s true pastime, where the bad asses kick a little ass, and it happens to go well with beer.

I have done posts on the mech warriors of the future.  Now I am doing a post on the rock em’ sock em’ robots of the future.  This is a video of actual remote control robots that wrestle each other.  It blows me away at how moble they are.  Click here to watch Video.

Today is the day that all the Illegal Aliens in America are going to boycott work in an attempt to display their importance to the American economy. While I doubt that it will hurt our economy, unless it turns into a riot, I am writing this because I am tired of being quite and letting criminals tell us how to run our country. I encourage you to take 5 minutes out of your day to also write to your senators and representative, you can simply copy and paste this message into an email. If you don’t know their email, here is a link to a Congressional Email Directory.

Dear Senator/Congressman,

I am an American, I vote. Right now, there are millions of people who snuck into our country and are demanding we pander to them. They do not pay taxes, they do not want to be a part of American culture and they funnel our money into Mexico. Yet they want the same benefits that Americans receive. They form gangs, make up a huge percentage of federal inmates, and have been transforming the south into an enormous barrio. They leave Mexico because it is so horrible, yet they wave Mexican flags at their protests. They even have the gull to change our National Anthem to incorporate themselves.

I have grown tired of this situation. Two thirds of the 12 million illegal immigrants have arrived here in the past ten years. Yet, Instead of building a wall, there are now discussions of allowing amnesty. I will not support amnesty of any kind. I do not believe in rewarding the criminals who have been breaking the law the longest. As for worker permits, I believe we already have a guest-worker program called “green cards”. I am in support of legal Immigration and I am in support of enforcing the laws that have not been enforced; the laws that American citizens, like the minute men, are forced to enforce because our government is too impotent, even in these post-9-11 days. Therefore, I will make a deal with you. Unlike these illegal immigrants, I vote. I will monitor your voting record. If you vote for any amnesty legislation, of any kind, you will lose my support and you will never receive another vote from me ever again.

Thank you for your time,
An American Citizen

I just went to see the movie United 93.  Many people are saying that it is too soon for a movie about 9-11.  But after seeing this movie, I believe it is a necessary reminder.  I remember 9-11.  I remember the anger and sadness that I felt.  I remember the immediate patriotism.  I remember the stickers on the back of cars that said “we will never forget.”  But sadly, after 5 years, we have already forgotten.  This movie reminds you of what really happened and the evil of terrorism.

This movie was the most intense movie I have ever seen; in fact I would even venture to say that it isn’t a movie to see for entertainment.  It is a movie to see for patriotism.  Hell, a movie to see in the name of humanity.   Throughout the movie, no one spoke at all.  When I looked around, all I saw were tears.  When it was over, I was in a cold sweat and the entire theater was as quite as a funeral precession.  That is the impact it had.

The Truth is, it reminds you of what happened.  A group of terrorists murdered Americans.  THEY ATTACKED US.  Why?  Because they think that the Crusades are still going on.  But instead of the Christians attacking the Muslim world.  It is a militant Islamic sect that is attacking the Western world.  We support Israel, so they murder innocent civilians.  We don’t believe in oppressing women and making them cover their entire body, so they think we are immoral infidels who let our women dress like whores.  We are different than them, so they hate us.  THEY STARTED THIS WAR, and like it or not, we, as Westerners, are stuck in it. Next time I see an anti-war protest, I’m going to ask them if they saw this movie.  It is your obligation as an American to see this.

Where is the sin?  Man and man? Man and little boy? Man and dog? Man and premarital sex? Man and lust?

My thought is that the only biblically sanctioned sex is between and man that is married to a women.

So at what point do you get to say what a sin is or notm but I guess choice is where sin is found. So why is our society quick to look the other way, and change the rules? Why not just not call something what it is?

I can’t believe this is an issue. Mind your own business.

Abortions have been in the news a lot lately with the changes in the Supreme Court and with South Dakota’s new law. The problem I have with abortions is that having looked at some scientific evidence, it appears as though the developing fetus is indeed human…which is the question one must ask…. is a fetus human? And so I think it is, and so then I think removing fetuses (or feti) from the only environment they could survive in is essentially murder, (negligence at best). Nevertheless, this action is really really bad. Unfortunately changing laws isn’t going to solve the problem. What needs to happen is not legislation, but a spiritual awakening that represents ALL humans (even underdeveloped ones) as indeed valuable and worth preserving at all costs. No ifs ands or buts…no exceptions. It seems calloused to force certain people to have children…teenagers who were raped and became pregnant for example, but if the fetus is indeed a human, how much more wicked is it to exterminate its only chance at life? Should the sins of the father be weighed against the unborn?

The gospel of Judas is really really confusing, What’s even more confusing about it is the fact that many of the “secret” teachings of Jesus are still secrets because they were lost. The gospel is really valuable because it offers a re-visionist history of the passion events as early as the 2nd century! It’s teachings however, are classically Sethian, and not really relevant to any sort of popular Christianity. The idea of a Supreme Deity over and against the deity of this world deviates tremendously from modern and popular conceptions of God. I think the most valuable thing that the gospel offers is the idea of dualism that is, duality of soul and body. Certainly not a new concept, in fact it generally is frowned upon, however this gospel attaches this concept of duality to a panentheistic vision of God…which is unique. The Gospel of Judas asserts that there is a certain group of people (Sethians) who have a “divine spark” and that those people have been “entraped” by their physical bodies through the work of the rebellious God of the Jews. Which is why when Jesus asks Judas to turn him over to the authorities, he says, “You will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me.”

Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with a California Winery to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-$5 range.

Top 10 Names they are Market Testing

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations

And the Number One name for Wal-Mart wine: 

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

My grandma sent me this email, so I don’t know who deserves credit.